Breakup/ Divorce
Breakup, in simple terms, is the termination of a relationship- budding or running; amorous or platonic. Marriage is also a relationship and divorce is a breakup. However, divorce can not be equated with normal breakup in precise terms, since breakup broadly and aptly applies to a relationship not covered by marriage, but one maintained by mutual consent and without marriage.
Breakup, is not sudden. It’s a process, an evolution. The warning signals do appear early on, and the discordant notes become strong to ignore, the stakeholders start to analyse the issues and try to sort out, they come to an understanding and try to implement the terms of the truce which later may turn out to be dud, or in spite of their best efforts an agreement becomes elusive and breakup follows, naturally.
Breakup is unpleasant, distasteful, disgraceful, traumatic, stressful, ignominious, shattering and paralysing. It could be difficult to forget and forgive for a lifetime, can fan retribution, and drive to suicidal tendencies. Breakup invariably results in psychological distress and expresses itself through normal and universal symptoms and also such symptoms that are serious and grievous and need expert counselling.
Grief Management
We, as human beings live in a sense of attachment. We like things to be comfortable. We hope things will remain the same forever. We are not open to changes, nor are we willing to accept that things can turn suddenly, to the worse. Death is something that we like to skirt. But those born have to, and will die. ‘Jatasya Maranam Dhruvam’. As such when death strikes, more so, those ones who are near and dear to us, we get devastated. The intensity of the grief inflicted by the loss is proportionate to the person that departed and the intensity of our association with him/her. Depending on this relationship, we feel crestfallen, some people, unable to bear the loss, even commit suicide, leaving behind loving families, lucrative professions, wealth and what not.
The process of, time taken to recover from grief, and be one’s own self, depends on the mental frame of the person facing the loss, the environment, the counselling he receives, other responsibilities, and of course, ultimate realization that dawns. While some could recover as early as in a few months, others take much longer, and a few never recover easily.
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